Remember when having fun was relatively simple?
Somebody called and said, “What are you doing tonight?” and before you knew it, you were getting dressed.
You didn't necessarily know where you were going, who all would be there, or what time you'd get home.
You just knew you were going to have a good time.
Now?
We need at least two weeks' notice, preferably three. Somebody has to check their calendar, another person needs to arrange childcare, and there's always that one friend who says, “Let me see what's going on that weekend,” even though we all know they're probably going to be sitting at home watching television. 😂
Then we have to decide where we're going, what we're wearing, how much it's going to cost, whether parking is available, and if we're being completely honest, whether we'll still feel like going when the day actually arrives.
At some point, having fun became a whole production.
And I'm beginning to wonder whether we've made it more complicated than it needs to be.
When Everything Requires a Plan
Don't get me wrong. I love a good plan.
Give me a calendar, a notebook, and a few colored pens, and I'm perfectly happy organizing just about anything.
But there's something to be said for spontaneity.
Some of my favorite memories didn't begin with an elaborate itinerary. They started with someone suggesting we go somewhere, do something, or just get together.
No expectations beyond enjoying ourselves.
As adults, though, we've become very good at turning even the simplest activities into events that require coordination.
Dinner with friends can take longer to arrange than an actual vacation.
Everybody has different schedules, dietary preferences, restaurant suggestions, and opinions about what time we should meet.
By the time we finally agree on a date, somebody's availability has changed.
And there goes another three weeks.
I'm not suggesting we abandon planning altogether. Responsibilities are real, and nobody wants to discover halfway through dinner that they forgot to pick up their child.
But I do wonder how often we miss opportunities to enjoy ourselves because everything has to come together perfectly first.
We've Started Treating Fun Like Another Responsibility
Here's something else I've noticed.
Even when we make time for something enjoyable, there's sometimes this strange pressure to make it count.
A vacation has to be amazing.
The birthday celebration needs to be memorable.
A weekend getaway should include enough activities to justify the cost.
If we're spending money, taking time off, or rearranging our schedules, apparently we're supposed to have the time of our lives.
That's a lot of pressure to put on a Saturday afternoon.
What happened to doing something simply because it sounded enjoyable?
Going to lunch without turning it into an all-day event.
Taking a drive with no particular destination.
Listening to live music without needing VIP seating or a special occasion.
Spending an afternoon browsing a bookstore and leaving with absolutely nothing. Although, let's be realistic, that last part might be asking a bit much of me.
Not every experience needs to become a core memory.
Sometimes a perfectly ordinary good time is enough.
Somewhere Along the Way, We Got Comfortable Staying Home
Now, this is where I have to be careful, because I genuinely enjoy being at home.
Give me a good book, something interesting to watch, a comfortable place to sit, and I'm not exactly suffering.
There are evenings when the thought of getting dressed and going somewhere sounds considerably less appealing than it did when I agreed to the invitation.
And once the comfortable clothes are on?
Well, good luck getting me back out of the house.
But I also know there's a difference between enjoying my home and allowing convenience to make my world smaller.
Sometimes the hardest part of going out is simply getting out of the house.
Then you arrive, see people you enjoy, start laughing, and remember why you agreed to go in the first place.
Of course, there are also occasions when you get there and immediately remember why you should've stayed home.
Both experiences build character, I suppose. 😂
Still, I don't want to become so comfortable with my routine that I stop making room for experiences outside of it.
Fun Doesn't Have an Age Limit
I think we sometimes develop strange ideas about what we're supposed to enjoy as we get older.
Certain activities begin to seem too young for us.
Other things supposedly aren't sophisticated enough.
And somewhere in the middle, we start acting as though adulthood comes with an approved list of acceptable ways to have fun.
Who made that list?
If you enjoy dancing, dance.
Love amusement parks? Go.
Want to take a cooking class, sing karaoke, try roller skating again, or spend an afternoon doing something completely ridiculous with your friends?
Why not?
Granted, the roller skating might require a little more consideration than it did thirty years ago. My knees and I would definitely need to have a conversation first.
But enjoying life shouldn't require us to act a certain age.
There are enough things in adulthood that we have to take seriously.
Fun doesn't always need to be one of them.
Maybe We Need to Make More Room for the Unexpected
I'm not suggesting we throw away our calendars or start accepting every invitation that comes our way.
There are legitimate reasons we can't always be spontaneous. Work, family, finances, health, and responsibilities don't disappear because somebody wants to go to happy hour.
And sometimes staying home is exactly what we need.
What I am suggesting is that we leave a little room for the unexpected.
An unplanned lunch.
A last-minute invitation.
Trying a restaurant simply because we passed it and thought it looked interesting.
Calling a friend and asking if they want to do something this afternoon instead of discussing plans for next month.
Or making a little time for something we enjoy without needing an occasion to justify it.
The older I get, the more I realize that some of the best parts of life happen when we aren't trying so hard to make everything perfect.
We Still Have Time to Have a Good Time
There's something a little sad about realizing how easily we can spend an entire week, month, or even year moving from one responsibility to the next.
We work, handle obligations, run errands, keep appointments, and take care of whatever needs our attention.
Then we look up and wonder when we last did something simply because it was fun.
Not productive.
Not necessary.
Not something that needed to be checked off a list.
Just enjoyable.
I don't want to spend all my time planning the next vacation or looking forward to the next big celebration while overlooking the opportunities to have a good time in between.
Life doesn't have to be one exciting adventure after another. Frankly, that sounds exhausting too.
But surely there's room for a little more laughter, spontaneity, and enjoyment in our ordinary days.
Even if it means occasionally getting dressed when we'd rather stay in our pajamas.
Something to think about...
When was the last time you did something purely because it sounded fun?
No special occasion. No major planning. Nothing to accomplish.
Just a good time.
Maybe we don't need to make life more exciting.
Perhaps we just need to stop making fun so complicated.